As I sat outside on my balcony smoking my last cigarette for the day, as I always do at around 8:40 pm, the greatest feeling of deep satisfaction rushed over me. I felt the cold wind on my skin, the streetlights burning into my eyes and the memories of long forgotten days filling my mind. There was no time. There was no future, there was no past, all happened at once and I could feel it. It felt like I was dying. I became one with everything around me. Only sensations, but no one to feel them. I was part of it all and it all was part of me. And all my worries disappeared. All the howling and crying, all the laughing and loving, everything was just part of „IT“, everything was the same.