I first met Jannick at a bar in a dirty town. I actually didn’t really meet him. He saw me and looked deep into my eyes, standing on the other side of that bar, raised his skinny hand and opened his fist as if to say „hey, you!“. I awkwardly did the same with a weird feeling in my stomach. Looking at him, a feeling of awe struck me. The way he stood there, like a god, and even though he was a stranger, I knew he KNOWS. The moment passed faster than I could think about it. Me and a few friends ran outside afterwards, lay drunk on the street and spray-painted „HATE“ on walls. At the time everyone saw the crazy me, but I started to like and embrace it. Because the people I wanna know, the interesting ones, are the ones who love your craziness, the people who adore it. Jannick was that kind of a person.

As I sat outside on my balcony smoking my last cigarette for the day, as I always do at around 8:40 pm, the greatest feeling of deep satisfaction rushed over me. I felt the cold wind on my skin, the streetlights burning into my eyes and the memories of long forgotten days filling my mind. There was no time. There was no future, there was no past, all happened at once and I could feel it. It felt like I was dying. I became one with everything around me. Only sensations, but no one to feel them. I was part of it all and it all was part of me. And all my worries disappeared. All the howling and crying, all the laughing and loving, everything was just part of „IT“, everything was the same.

There is a Taoist story that goes something like this: